Plain English Experiment

Next time you want to say something in a sensitive, tactful fashion, thank your lucky stars you’re a writer, and therefore inherently good with words. Where would diplomacy be without writers? Politicians would have bigger budgets for cudgels than for speech writing.

With a writer’s help, when a department loses its focus and squanders time and money on useless surveys and analyses, it merely investigates alternatives.

Meetings are never led by management, but by rectal-cranial inverted people who are verbally repetitive. They invariably gather for team building exercises and bond reinforcement in places where liquid grain-based substance consumption is encouraged and supported by previously-enjoyed companions, all medically enhanced. These pectorally superior persons are fun to be with, horizontally accessible and sexually creative and extroverted.

As the overtime team building exercise progresses, the vocal appreciation for the artificially stimulating activities rises; in some cases temporary blood displacement may happen to romantically automated persons who are most chemically inconvenienced and this may lead them to become accidentally horizontal.

Fortunately, good housekeeping ensures no visual account is available for journalistic investigation in the morning and any narrative sequence of events is treated with introspective discretion and inter-departmental empathy.

And just in case you wonder how I know all this – no comment.

image credit: clipart


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